The Leaf
by Flash Foreward
Summary: Pre Series, Washcentric. Only three people in the 'Verse ever called him 'Hoban.' I rewrote the last chapter because I really didn't like it. Complete.
1. 1 Mother

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything relating to Firefly or to Serenity, those are Joss Whedon's.

**A/N:** I had the idea for this while watching Serenity late one night. I thought to myself "What does he mean when he says 'I'm a leaf on the wind'?" I came up with a lovely little three chapter story. In this chapter, I came up with Wash's family. I figured he didn't really know his father, and I gave him an older brother and an older sister. This chapter is narrated by his brother. This fic is pre series and also my first Firefly fic, so reviews are greatly appreciated.

**The Leaf**

**1. Mother**

She did her best. Used to tell us stories 'bout the stars. I never was too interested, but Wash loved hearin' 'em. I preferred the stories 'bout our father, who he was and where he came from; but those were few and far between.

Mother loved us; we were all she had left. I remember how she used to send us out to fetch the groceries from the store, always sendin' that brute of a dog with us. Said she didn't want nothin' happenin' to us, claimed he'd protect us.

Hell, the only one that brute cared about was Wash, only one of us he liked. Wash named him when he showed up on our doorstep. Just up and called him somethin' and gave him some water.

"Hoban," Mother was the only one ever called him 'Hoban,' rest of us had to call him 'Wash.' "Hoban, sweetheart, get Lemon outa my garden. He's eatin' my flowers."

Lemon, the dumb dog was named Lemon. Leave it to Wash. He said if we ever got another one, he'd name it Lime. And he hoped it was a girl.

We never got another one. We all got older and Ma got sick. Wash sat with her while the rest of us did the chores and bought the food. I once asked Ma why she didn't make Wash help us, but all she did was start quotin' scripture at me.

"Hoban, darling, you're gonna be the best pilot ever, ain't you?" When he was six, Wash climbed up on Ma's lap and told her he was gonna be a pilot, just like his Pop. She laughed, patted him on the head and told him another story. She'd been savin' upfor flight school ever since.

"Of course, Ma."

He read to her, held her hand, prayed with her. Hell, I only had a few spare moments to spend with her 'fore I had to go off and do somethin' else.

"Ma? How're you feelin'"

"I'm all right, Jeffery. You go on and tend to your business, let me rest."

Wash was the youngest, I was the oldest, and we had Karin in between. I didn't understand why Wash wouldn't listen when I told him what to do. I thought that helpin' Ma was doin' her work for her.

"Wash, c'mon. Gimme a hand."

"Not now, I've gotta finish Ephesians 'fore she falls asleep."

Maybe if I'd paid more attention.

"Jeffery? Why don't you and Karin sit with me and Hoban for a spell?"

"Got work to do, Ma. Maybe later."

"Of course, later."

Maybe later. Over and over I said it 'til there weren't no later to have.

"Hoban, sweetheart, you run and get your brother and sister, I got somethin' needs sayin."

"Course, Ma."

Not later, now.

"We're all here now."

"Jeffery?" she took my hand. "Jeffery, you gonna open up that flower shop? Sell all the pretty ones that Lemon don't eat?"

"Of course, Ma."

Just to please a dyin' woman.

"Karin," She switched hands, grasping at Karin. "Sweetie, you marry that rich man you had your eye on."

"Oh, Ma, he don't want nothin' to do with me."

"Course he does, I seen it in his eyes when he comes round." Karin blushed. "'Sides, you gotta take care of your brothers."

"Yes, Ma."

"Hoban." Switching hands again, on to her favorite. I think he reminded her of Pop. "Hoban, you're my leaf. My leaf on the wind. Go out there and soar."

She died. Wash was so young, about to start flight school. I had to my flower shop to open, Karin was getting married, but Wash surprised us all. He kept crackin' jokes and findin' reasons to laugh. I was getting fed up.

"Hoban."

"Don't even try it, Jeff."

"Fine, Wash. You sure you wanna go to flight school?"

"Yes."

"You keep makin' light after Ma's goin', I figured you'd wanna take some time, let it sink in."

"It's sunk. Lemon! Where are ya, boy?"

"Wash, this ain't funny."

"Never said it was."

"Then why do you keep crackin' jokes?"

"Ma always loved my jokes, told me to never stop tellin' 'em."

"So, you wanna waste Ma's money on flight school?"

I hadn't been sure how to bring it up; figured jumpin' right in would be the best way. Kinda like goin' swimmin', only the look in Wash's eye was worse than the rush of cold water.

"She's been savin' for it since I was six."

"Don't leave much for the rest of us, that's all."

He was silent. It was scary when Wash got all serious, and I was startin' to wish I hadn't said anything. Wished I'd just let him go and worried about my flower shop. His gaze caught mine and held.

"You ever look up at the sky and wonder what's behind that multi-colored cloud of gas?"

"Wash…" I tried to sound stern, but my voice faltered.

"Do you?" How in hell was he so calm?

"You know I do."

"Ma gave me a glimpse-"

"Ma never saw past that cloud, she was just makin' it up." I interrupted.

"She gave me a glimpse of what's beyond and I fell in love. She wanted me to see it for myself, and I'm going to."

It was over, nothing left to say. Her leaf was going to soar and no power in the 'verse could stop him.


	2. 2 Teacher

**Disclaimer: **Firefly is Joss Whedon's... d'you think he'd let me borrow Wash for a bit?

**A/N: **This chapter is from Wash's POV, during flight school. Please review.

**2. Teacher**

"Hoban, what are you doing wrong?" I wasn't rightly sure what she meant, but I figured I should give an answer.

"Uh, nothing?"

"Hoban."

Only two people in the 'verse ever called me Hoban, my mother and my teacher. My teacher was the one standing over me telling me I was doing something wrong. I racked my brain, trying to come up with an answer, swerving to avoid some debris in the process. I could feel the bile rising in my throat and my heart pounding against my chest, my palms started to sweat and my brain was converting to panic mode.

"Don't tell me unless you can't fix it."

"Oh, God," I mumbled, listening to my pounding heart. We were in a not good situation, not good meaning ships and debris everywhere and only narrow gaps between, and I was doing something wrong. "I... I don't know."

"End simulation." Everything was gone. Lesson over, you failed. "We'll try again tomorrow."

"Yeah, tomorrow."

"Rest now, Hoban, and think."

Rest. I went to my bunk, laid down, grabbed the photo of my family, and tried to think. I could hear the other students coming and going, but I focused on my family. My brother, my sister, and my mother holding on to squirming little old me. My father took the picture, or so my mother says. There were never any pictures of my father, so I guess he took them all. Up until he left.

I set the picture down and closed my eyes, what was I doing wrong? If I didn't fix it, I'd let my mother down. Oh, sure, I'd seen the stars, and they were... are gorgeous. Better than the stories. But I was going to be her leaf, soaring on the wind. I had to fly.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.

"Hoban, are you ready?" Morning came quickly, and I was back in the pilot's chair. "Do you know what you did wrong?" I knew, something in my dreams had flipped a switch and shone the light on my answer.

"I panicked."

"Very good, Hoban." Did her voice ever change? It was always so eerily calm. "We have to work on keeping that from happening."

"Uh, I hope you've got some ideas, 'cause my survival instinct is just too strong." If she found it funny, she didn't laugh. My own chuckle died in my throat when she didn't respond.

"Why are you here."

"To be a pilot." Wasn't it obvious?

"Why?" Oh, no, not this game.

"To see the stars." That one phrase triggered so many memories. Memories of my father's face, all I can remember now are his eyes. Ma used to tell me I have my father's eyes. Memories of my Mother's stories about the stars. How Pop went off to fly, how he came back with stories, and she passed the stories onto us. I think I reminded her of Pop, and she needed that. 'Cause even though he left her, something in her still loved him. "My mother told me stories about them, and I've wanted to really see them since."

"Use that. Use you mother's memory, her stories."

"Huh?"

"Begin simulation."

Ships were coming at us, firing. At each other or at us, it didn't matter. I tried to focus my thoughts on my mother. Tried to find the words that would keep me calm. I could feel the panic beginning to rise, but then it hit me. My mother's words were etched my brain and I felt myself begin to calm down. _I am a leaf on the wind, watch how I soar_.

"Well done, Hoban." I leaned back and smiled. "End simulation."

"Thanks," I mumbled. I was good at mumbling.

"You're one of my best students, Hoban." She put an arm around my shoulder as we left the flight simulator. "In fact, you are my best student." I had nothing to say to that. Nothing to mumble. She laughed a little and gave me a small hug.

"Th... thanks." I said, she smiled and looked straight into my eyes.

"You've see much more than you let on, haven't you." I didn't answer, it wasn't a question. "You've kept flying, though. Kept you're wits. I don't know how you do it, but I hope you never stop being a joker."

"I won't." After all, I did promise Ma. "Even after I die."

"That won't come for a long time." Her smile was true, but her eyes were sad. She patted my cheek and walked away. I think I reminded her of something, or someone, long gone.

She got me into the war, flying supplies to whoever needed them. Allied or Independent, it didn't matter, as long as they paid. We both got shot down and taken to the same Alliance camp. She died soon after arriving, a casualty of war. I kept my head, for her. And I kept out of trouble by entertaining the prisoners and guards with shadow puppets.

That was early on, before the war got too brutal.


	3. 3 Wife

**Disclaimer: **_Firefly_ and the opening dialog (first two lines are from _Out Of Gas_) are not mine.

**A/N: **I feel much better about this chapter, mostly because it's a little more in character than the previous chapter three. It's a little less straight foreward than the other two chapters, and it's more other people's reactions than the interaction between Zoë and Wash (although, I kind of like it that way). Also, it's less about the 'leaf on the wind' thing, as in not at all. It's from Mal's POV.

**3. Wife**

"What? What about him bothers you?"

"I'm not sure. It's just… something."

Hoban Washburn, our pilot. Freshly hired, and he came with a list of recommendations as long as my leg. Literally. I mean, the thing was actually as long as my leg. And my first mate, Zoë, has to have that somethin' naggin' at her so she don't like him. Of course. It's bad enough I've got Bester, who I thought'd be a fine mechanic but turned out to be a weight around my neck.

Now I had to deal with Zoë's feeling?

I explained to her what her 'something' was up against, and she just pulled a Zoë. Just nodded and said "Yes sir." Besides, we had more important things to worry about, like keeping Bester from messin' up the engine and lendin' out the shuttle (I've got this Surveyor and his wife who want it, and they'll pay the askin' price). Course, I don't think Zoë's gonna give up on that 'somethin' bothers me' thing.

She stole his lip ferret.

I don't know how, when, or why, but she took a page outa Tracey's book and stole his lip ferret. She didn't wear it though, that's just not a Zoë thing to do. Though, it ain't much of a Zoë thing to steal a guy's lip ferret, but I think she just really doesn't like this guy.

I went down for breakfast that mornin' and he was sittin' there clean-shaven and lookin' pretty groggy. He was pokin' at his food, but not really eating it. I sat down at my seat and started chowin' down, I was hungry.

"So, you finally shaved off that gorram lip ferret?" I asked. I was getting' kind of tired of the silence. Talkin' seemed to help, 'cause he actually started eatin'.

"Someone stole it." Damn me for takin' a drink. It went everywhere when I started laughin', I stopped laughin' pretty quickly when I noticed that it was soakin' into my breakfast.

"What d'ya someone stole it?" I asked, separating the beverage from my protein.

"I had it when I went to bed, but it was gone this mornin'." That's when Zoë walked in, carryin' one of Wash's dinosaurs.

"Stop leavin' these lyin' around," she said, tossing the dinosaur to Wash. She stood at my side, and I just stared at the Dinosaur. It had hair. Not just any hair, but a blonde wig made out of Wash's lip ferret. Wash stared at it for a second, then he started laughin', I started laughin', too, and Jayne and Kaylee (our new, and much more competent mechanic) were walkin' in, too. Jayne just stared, confused, but Kaylee started gigglin'. And she's got the cutest giggle. Zoë just turned and left, though, while the rest of us were laughin'.

I think Kaylee's the one who noticed it first, that somethin' was either very wrong or very right. She came up to me in the cargo bay, I was hidin' some stuff for Badger, and just stood there for a minute.

"What's up, Little Kaylee?" I asked. She gave me a small smile.

"Have you noticed how of ten Zoë seems to go up to the bridge nowadays?" she asked. I shrugged.

"Probably just wants to check up on things."

"At night?" She had a point. I sighed and stopped what I was doing. "You think somethin's wrong?"

"Nah, Kaylee, it's probably all right." I wasn't so sure myself. There were two possibilities. One, Zoë was tryin' to figure out what bothered her and then do something about it, or two she was checkin' up on his progress. I didn't want to think about what she'd do if she figured out what bothered her.

"I heard her call him Hoban." Kaylee shook me from my thoughts. I stared at her for a minute then shook my head.

"He won't even let me call him Hoban," I said. Kaylee nodded.

"I know, but I heard it. I'd been up late talkin' to _Serenity_ and I was headin' to my bunk and I heard her say 'Good night, Hoban.'"

"Huh. Well, best not worry about it. Get back to work, little Kaylee." She nodded and I patted her on the head as she walked away. Zoë walked in as she left.

"Everything's set, Sir. Badger's expectin' us and Inara'll be leavin' as we're settin' down." She said. Nothing seemed different, 'cept she seemed a little more relaxed. I just ignored it.

"Good. Best start dinner," I said. She cocked an eyebrow.

"It's your turn to cook, Sir." She said. I nodded.

"Right, then, I'll go do that." I left, but I heard her chuckle. She chuckled.

.-.-.-.-.-.

"Goodnight," I heard Zoë's voice float down from the bridge as I headed to my bunk. I stopped, slipped into a shadow and watched her walk down the steps. Wash jogged after her.

"Wait, Zoë," she turned and he grabbed her hand and got down on one knee. I had to choke back my surprise. "Will you marry me?" I had to lean in to hear him 'cause he was whisperin', but I caught it. I started rackin' my brain, tryin' to figure out how long whatever this was had been goin' on.

I turned my head and gave them some privacy, and when I looked back Zoë was standin' right in front of me.

"How're things, Captain?" I assumed she meant the cargo.

"Fine."

"That's good."

"Right." I walked past her towards my bunk.

"Sir?" I turned back towards her. "Wash and I are getting married." I thought for a moment.

"Don't."

"Sir?"

"It'll complicate things."

"Sorry, Sir?"

"Don't marry him"

"I wasn't askin', Sir. I was tellin'."

And she went to her bunk, leaving me standing there like an idiot. I went to bed.

.-.-.-.-.-.

They got married, much to my chagrin. I knew it'd complicate things, but they didn't listen. And by they I mean Zoë. It was Zoë I expected to hear my reasoning and accept it, but she didn't accept it. She ignored it.

At night, when they're alone on the bridge, you can hear her call him Hoban if you listen close enough. She doesn't do it regular, though, only when she says good night. Like the name itself is some sort of farewell.


End file.
